December 29th, 2016

not OK

Communal inertia, overcoming

I'm going to be experimenting more with Dreamwidth in the coming weeks. I think I've successfully imported all my content here (*) and need to start playing around with filters and settings.

I need to figure out crossposting and do a head-to-head compare of the friends list view. Then dive into circles and privacy settings and see what it looks like when I try to make a "friends only" post.

If you're bored with such things, or don't care, feel free to skip. If you have experience and feedback to share, feel free.

(*) Entry composed and posted at DW. I'd somehow like to say "if you don't see this entry let me know" but that's a bit sillier than I feel right now.

Gratitude is complicated

Interesting item on NPR I read over vacation. We're all supposed to be grateful, even in the face of the shitstorm that was 2016 and the incoming wave of racism, sexism, *phobia, and isolationist militarization that we brought upon ourselves. Yay.

Still, we each have things to be grateful for. Many of us have families and loved ones we would not willingly give up. Babies were born and people got together this past year in relationships that will improve and enrich them. This month is a commercialized pit but it's also nice to get and give meaningful gifts. Donations are also meaningful; I made some in honor and memory, and a couple were made in my name that I'm happy about.

So why isn't gratitude a thing for me? From the article: "People who score higher on measures of autonomy experience less overall gratitude and value it less" Hunh, maybe that's so.

"people who are uncomfortable with gratitude and with receiving gifts may be undermining their interpersonal relationships." - yep, that's a thing for sure. It took me a lot of years to master the simple idea of saying "thank you" meaningfully, and without any need to embellish or elaborate.

I am not (I hope) ungrateful. But like a lot of other social practices that people around me seem to find natural, I generally don't get a lot out of gratitude practices. As the article points out, there are many ways to skin a cat and these particular practices are likely better for some people than for others.

I don't have any grand conclusions past "it's complicated." Just more thinking going on.

Cross-posted from Dreamwidth, at You can comment here or there.