Rich's memorial was a lot of things. It was a chance to express some feelings. It was a chance to see people whom I've not seen often or, in a few cases, years. My standard response at these things when people ask how I am is to say, "As well as can be expected under the circumstances." It was a chance to see and hear things I would not have seen or heard otherwise.
The event went off remarkably well, if late. People like Persis, Tamar, and Hobbit did a crapton of work. They had crew. I'm aware that people like TB and SGW and ceo also did a ton of work in other areas making it possible for this thing to happen. I did a tiny bit of work, coordinating maybe half a dozen people to help them get to the site. KJC did most of the hard parts of that; I was just a communications hub.
My feelings about such events are similar to many in the community - they are for the living. You go and you do these things not for the dead, who cannot appreciate it anyway, but for the family and the survivors. You do it for yourself and your friends and your community. It was good to see the community could still get its shit together, given how much gray hair there was, how many of us limped or needed to sit and rest often.
It was good to hear peoples' stories. I kept expecting them to have more emotional impact on me, but they did not. I can sort of post-analyze it thus: I see Rich partly through my own eyes, but partly also through the eyes of people with whom he had troubled relationships, and now unfinished endings. They say one ought not speak ill of the dead. But it is also said
The evil that men do lives after them;Like most of us, Rich was a complicated person with complex relationships to others that are not easily summed up in a story or song. I don't know how long it'll take me to sort through all this; emotions have their own timelines and I'll not try to hurry mine along. I suspect Kevin's upcoming memorial will fill this same well.
The good is oft interrèd with their bones.
A week or so ago, Thing 1 managed to fill the house with greasy smoke by putting his hot pockets in the microwave and setting the timer for nine minutes. Then wandering away. Fortunately nothing actually caught fire - we lost one plate and the microwave was in poor shape anyway. We got rid of it in order to get rid of the smell, and had the cleaners in to scrub down walls. The weather is such that we could vent the place. I could write about the issues that caused Thing 1 to do this, but let's just use the inadequate phrase "teenager brain" and leave it at that.
With a new microwave waiting to be had, Pygment decided it was time to assemble the replacement microwave stand she'd bought. The old one had a malfunctioning drawer that was bothersome. It had lasted more than a decade, which you never expect these particleboard furniture items to do, and now it smelled faintly of greasy smoke. So clearly it was time to de-lame and assemble its replacement, which had sat in its box in the garage for a couple weeks.
Like all these projects, there's a stage where you're trying to do mid-air construction that would be easier if you had a prehensile tail and would be downright trivial if you were, say, a tool-using octopus. Four hands, some blood, and an on-the-spot revision to the construction plan when certain parts Just Did Not Fit later we had a microwave stand that was smaller than its predecessor. This led to a roundabout of "take all the things in the kitchen related to this apart and also can we move the stove and reassemble everything with the new stand in place but it's too small to hold this much stuff so let's move some things down to the storage room and nope I don't like how that looks so let's put the goddamn microwave back on top of the new smaller unit anyway and see what can be made to fit.
Sound and fury, signifying we have a slightly newer, slightly less messy, and slightly less stinky kitchen. My life, it is full of excitement.