drwex (drwex) wrote,

(Yesterday) was a hard day

Today (actually I wrote this yesterday and failed to post it, then got bit by the can't-post bug) I met Mom's lawyer, who is now my co-executor. We've spoken by email and phone many times but never managed to meet her in person. I signed a lot of papers with my legal name. There's a lot to do and I'm glad Mom had a lawyer lined up to do them because I would not have known or would have forgotten.

When I arrived at the lawyer's office she told me a story about my mother that, to her, was funny. I suppose it was, but it was also revelatory to me in that I realized suddenly why I find a certain behavior almost intolerable - because it was my mother's behavior and I was not in a position to find it funny. I think I kept my mask up well in public. My father wants to talk about how he (only) remembers the good things. So be it.

I almost lost it at the courthouse, reading the will and related documents. And again back at the lawyer's office, looking through the remains of Mom's jewelry, which needs to be appraised. Two emotionally draining hours.

We're now in wait mode. Tomorrow (that is now today) as soon as the funeral home calls I'll go over and pick up necessary things, drop some things off with the lawyer, and head home. I want to be home now, but that's not possible. Enough things have piled up at work that if I do not make it into the office on Friday a bunch of balls will drop and it will be hard to pick them up again.

Email went out today yesterday about shiva: Saturday evening, Sunday afternoon and evening, Wednesday and Thursday evenings. I put the recipient list together as best I could in the circumstances. If I omitted you please forgive me and send an email; I'll forward you the details.
Tags: mom, update
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