drwex (drwex) wrote,

  • Mood:

I have been remiss. I apologize.

A friend's post on this topic was the prod I finally needed. I've been wanting to make my annual yamim noraim post. It's hard to do this when feeling badly about oneself and I've got a big case of donwannas but I'm an adult so that won't do.

If I have hurt or offended you in the past I would like to apologize for that. I know particularly this past year I've uttered many ill-considered and hurtful words for which I am sorry. If you wish to tell me about it I will listen. I cannot un-say things but I will try to be more careful with my words in the future.

I also know that I have made choices people have disagreed with, and been hurt by. I don't know what to do about that. I would like it if my choices did not hurt people I love. I make the choices I make based on some hash of what I think is best, principles I try to adhere to, boundaries I want to keep, and a big helping of gut feel. I sometimes wish I had a fully rational and logical explanation of my choices, because maybe that would make things easier. But I don't. Sometimes I fuck up and make the wrong decision. Hurting other people is often a good sign that I've fucked up. But sometimes not. Not all situations offer a pain-free and clear best choice.

If I have hurt you by choices I've made I am sorry for that. I hope people believe that I do not make choices deliberately to hurt. I can also promise to continue trying my best to think through choices that might be hurtful and try not to fool myself about reasons or effects.

May you all be inscribed for a happy and healthy year to come.
Tags: thinky stuff
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